今年還是一個沒有感情的扣999的機器。

This year， I‘m still an emotionless typing machine。

有沒有人可以推薦一下情侶常去的比較高階的餐廳啊，菜品沒有要求，環境要浪漫一點，人均消費要高一點，越奢華越好，七夕我要去門口賣花。

Can anyone recommend a more advanced restaurant that couples often go to， I have no requirements for dishes， but the environment should be romantic and the per capita consumption should be higher。 The more luxurious it is， the better。I’m going to sell flowers at the gate of Chinese Valentine‘s Day。

七夕那天，讓你們的女朋友把花抱穩了，要是玫瑰枝子戳到我，沒有十萬八萬我起不來。

Let your girlfriend hold the flowers steady on Chinese Valentine’s day。If the rose branch pokes at me， I can‘t get up without giving me much money。

七夕那天，有人送金、有人送銀、有人送花，我怕沒人送我，就自己去把三樣都買齊了：金銀花，真去火！

On the Chinese Valentine’s day ， some people sent gold， silver and flowers to others。 I‘m afraid no one will send me these things， so I bought them all by myself： honeysuckle， purge fire！

這幾天狂風暴雨，打雷閃電，各位市民不要驚慌，因為進入七夕狀態，發誓的男人太多，所以不斷雷劈，純屬正常現象。

In recent days， there has been a storm， thunder and lightning。 Please do not panic， because entering the state of Chinese Valentine’s day， there are too many men swearing， so it‘s a normal phenomenon to keep thundering。

那些說七夕出租自己的，別傻了好嗎？平時免費都沒人要，現在還收上錢了？

Those who say to rent their own in the Chinese Valentine’s day， don‘t be silly， OK？Usually， You’re free and nobody wants you， now you want to charge in this way？

七夕那天誰要是在我面前秀恩愛，我就拍照截圖，等到你結婚的時候，如果物件不是現在的這個人，我就把照片打印出來放在紅包裡。

On Chinese Valentine‘s day， if anyone shows love in front of me， I’ll take a picture， when you get married， if you don‘t marry this person， I’ll print out the photos and put them in the red envelope that give you。

立志要在這成雙成對的世界裡，做一隻特立獨行的崽。

I am determined to be a maverick in this paired world。

圖源來自網路，侵權立刪！謝謝！