你有多喜歡自己？
如果回答這個問題時，你內心有一絲猶豫，或充滿否定，那很明顯你不夠愛自己。
這種不接納自己的心態從何而起？我們如何與自己和諧相處？
今天分享給大家的這個影片可以告訴我們答案。
我們不能總讓那些糟糕的過去控制我們的心理，影響我們的現在和未來。
是時候對自己好一點了！
LOVE YOURSELF。
雙語原文
If there is one generalisation we can hazard of those who end up mentally unwell， we could say that they are masters at being very nasty to themselves without noticing they are even being so。
如果我們要概括那些心理狀況不算健康的人的話，我們可以說這些人基本上都有著自我厭惡的傾向，但他們並沒有意識到自己正在自我厭惡。
Release from the grip of self-loathing therefore has to start with a growing awareness of what we are doing to ourselves – and what the alternatives might be.
For example， we might start to notice that no sooner has something nice happened to us that we set about wondering when something awful will strike in revenge； that every success has to be ruined by a feeling of foreboding and guilt； that every potentially pleasant day ends up marred by panic or a sense of loss； and that we spontaneously imagine that everyone must hate us and that the worst things are being said about us the moment we leave any room。
因此，要擺脫自我厭惡的控制，必須從不斷提高對我們正在對自己所做的事情以及可能的替代方案的認識開始。
例如，我們可能會開始注意到，每當一有好事發生在我們身上，我們就開始琢磨，什麼時候會有可怕的事情報復到我們身上，每一次成功都要被一種不祥的預感和罪惡感毀掉，每一個令人愉快的日子都會被恐慌或失落感所破壞，我們會自發地想象每個人都憎恨我們。每當我們離開房間的時候，裡面就會開始談論我們的壞話。
None of this looks – on the surface – like ‘self-hatred。’ We could just say that we have a ‘worried mind’， or a ‘regretful temperament’。 But it is useful to group these ideas under a singular title in order fully to identify the direction in which they point： towards the systematic destruction of any pleasure in being ourselves – which is， when we think about it， a very nasty thing indeed to do to someone。
Without realising it, we are committed to throttling all our chances of contentment at the earliest possible opportunity.
這一切表面上看起來都不像是自我憎恨。我們可以說，我們只是過度擔憂或思慮太重。但當我們將這些想法都歸入一個主題，就可以充分確定它們的指向了
那就是系統地摧毀，任何我們自身的快樂，仔細想想這一點，的確是一件強加於人身上非常惡劣的事情。
我們甚至沒有注意到，我們那麼致力於儘早扼殺我們所有可以獲得滿足感的機會。
We might imagine – as an experiment – trying to be as kind as possible towards our own minds.
Rather than dragging in every last deformed and mean idea into the theatre of consciousness， we could dare to be vigilant about only presenting our minds with the very kindest and most reassuring ideas。 The moment we left a room， we might be ruthless in preventing thoughts about our unacceptability from manifesting themselves in the usual way； they might be begging to be let in （and claiming all sorts of reasons why they should be so）， but – for once – we could give them a firm ‘no’。 If they kept trying to make their way into our minds， we might put on a piece of music or do some gardening， anything other than allow destructive concepts to have their normal rule over us。
我們可以想象，作為一個實驗，儘量對我們自己的大腦友好一點，
而不是把每一個畸形的、刻薄的想法都拽進意識的劇場裡 。我們可以試著儘量只把善良的、令人寬慰的想法，呈現在我們的大腦之中，離開房間的那一刻，我們不要再像通常那樣去想那些自己不被接受的想法。無論這些想法多麼渴求進入我們的大腦，無論它們聲稱自己有什麼合理的理由。但這一次，我們一定要堅定地拒絕，如果它們還是試圖進入我們的大腦 ，我們可以嘗試聽一些音樂或做一些園藝工作，只要不讓那些破壞性的想法像通常那樣控制了我們。
Where does this unconscious impulse to be unkind to ourselves come from？ How is the choice to torture ourselves made？ We can hazard another generalization。
The way we treat ourselves is an internalisation of the way others once treated us
， either directly in the sense of how they spoke to us or indirectly， in the sense of how they behaved around us， which could have included ignoring us or openly displaying a preference for someone else。
這種無意識地的對自己抱有惡意的衝動從何而來？我們為什麼會選擇折磨自己？我們可以大膽做出另一個歸納概括，
我們對待自己的方式其實是將別人曾對待我們的方式內在化了。
無論是從他們與我們直接地交談當中感受到或間接地從他們在我們周圍的行為方式當中感受到，這些行為可能包括忽視我們或公開顯示出對他人的偏愛。
To get a measure of where we stand on the spectrum of self-love， we need only ask ourselves a very simple question （that we have nevertheless ignored for far too long）：
How much do I like myself?
If the answer immediately and intuitively comes back that we feel loathsome， there is a history that we urgently need to consider and are – conveniently for our self-torturing minds – choosing to ignore。 The contempt we habitually show ourselves is neither way fair nor right； we should spot the oddity and partiality of treating ourselves with a viciousness we wouldn’t accord to our worst enemies。
想要衡量我們在自愛光譜上的位置，我們只需要問自己一個非常簡單的問題，一個長期被我們忽視的問題：
我有多喜歡自己？
如果立即直覺地回答說：我討厭自己。那麼我們可能迫切需要考慮的，是哪段我們選擇忽略的過去導致了這樣的自我折磨，我們習慣性輕視自己這一行為，既不公平也不正確 。我們應該瞭解到以超過對待敵人的惡意來對待自己，這一行為中的反常與偏頗。
People who commit suicide aren’t those for whom a few things have gone very wrong； they are people who have encountered some otherwise survivable reversals against a background of fierce self-hatred。 It is the self-hatred that will end up killing them， not the apparent subjects of their panic and sorrow。
自殺的人通常並不是那些有幾件事出了大問題的人，而是那些遇到了一些本可以逆轉的事情，卻無法克服其中自我厭惡的心態的人，最終將殺死他們的是自我厭惡，而不是表面上的恐懼和悲傷。
As ever, salvation comes through self-awareness
。
There is nothing inevitable about self-hatred.
We are treating ourselves unkindly because people were in the past not especially kind to us – and we are being touchingly yet dangerously loyal to their philosophies of derision。
一如既往，救贖需要透過自我意識來實現，自我厭惡並不是不可避免的事。
我們以惡意對待自己，因為過去人們對我們不太友善，我們深陷於他人的嘲笑奚落中難以自拔。
But if we’re to stay alive, we need radically to redraw our moral code and return to kindness the prestige that it should always have had.
We have learnt far too much about a lack of mercy， about panic， about self-suspicion and finding oneself pitiful。
Now we need to rediscover the virtues of forgiveness, mercy, calm and gentleness.
And when we panic and feel intensely anxious about the future， we need to remember that we are in essence worrying about our fundamental legitimacy and loveability。
Our survival depends on a swift mastery of the art of self-compassion.
但如果我們要生活下去 ，我們需要從根本上重新制定我們的道德準則。
讓善良仁慈迴歸到它本應具有的威望。我們已經學到了太多關於缺乏仁慈。關於恐慌、自我懷疑和認為自己很可憐的東西了，
現在我們需要重新發現寬恕、憐憫、平靜和溫柔的美德。
而當我們恐慌對未來感到極度焦慮的時候，我們需要記住，我們實質上是在擔心我們的存在是否正當，以及是否值得被愛。
我們的生存依賴於迅速掌握自我同情的藝術。
影片、文字來源：ONE字幕組