1、朋友問我他為什麼會打嗝？ 我想是因為屁迷了路。

My friend asked me why did he burp？ Fart must have lost his way。

2、你要是喜歡瘦的，我可以減；喜歡吃的少的，那就算了吧！

If you like thin， I can lose weight； If you like people who eat less， forget it！

3、這大概就是人生的三大幻覺吧！明天開始減肥，今天一定早睡，再買我就剁手。

These are probably the three hallucinations of life！ I‘ll start to lose weight tomorrow。 I’ll go to bed early today。 If I buy it again， I‘ll chop my hands。

4、每次吃完火鍋衣服上就會有很大的味道，所以建議大家，以後吃火鍋不要穿衣服。

Every time you eat hot pot clothes will have a big taste， so it is recommended that you do not wear clothes to eat hot pot in the future。

5、我太可愛了吧！連蚊子都忍不住親我一口。

I’m so cute！ Even the mosquito couldn‘t help kissing me。

6、家裡沒礦，身後沒人，全年無休，24小時線上，回訊息比你物件都快；別問我在不在，小可愛隨時線上。

There is no mine at home， no one behind， 24-hour online all year round， and the reply is faster than your target； don’t ask if I‘m in， little cute is online at any time。

7、做我朋友吧！要胖一起胖，要瘦我先瘦。

Be my friend！ If you want to be fat， you will be fat together。 If you want to be thin， I will be thin first。

8、大家好我是月老，想擁有物件，請給我轉賬50，並備註喜歡的人的名字；我會讓你知道，什麼叫“神仙也幫不了你。”

Hello everyone， I’m Yuelao。 If you want to have an object， please transfer 50 to me and note the name of the person you like。 I‘ll let you know what it means that \“immortals can’t help you。\”

9、這個天氣出門打工，和賣火柴的小女孩又有什麼區別呢？

The weather out to work， and the little match girl and what is the difference？

10、剛給自己卜了一卦，命缺裡房，卡里缺錢，情場缺愛；掐指一算，這卦真準，除了沒人疼，哪都疼。

Just give yourself fortune-telling， life lack room， lack of bank card， feeling field lack of love； This calculation， this hexagram is really accurate， except that no one loves me， all over the pain。

11、如果遇見你需要花光我所有運氣，那請你離我遠一點，我過年要打牌的。

If you need to spend all my luck to meet you， then please stay away from me， I want to play cards in the New Year。

12、我已經不是那個花五十塊錢也要考慮很久的小可愛了，我現在五塊錢都要深思熟慮。

I‘m not the cute girl who has to spend 50 yuan to think about for a long time。 Now I have to think about five yuan。

13、據說腰是一個人的靈魂，調查一下：這段時間，你們的靈魂都還在麼？我的早已魂飛魄散。

It is said that the waist is a person’s soul， investigate： during this period of time， are your souls still there？ My heart is already out of my mind。

14、人最怕的就是突然膨脹，精神上會讓人失去理智，肉體上失去鎖骨、腰窩、蝴蝶骨、尖下巴。

People are most afraid of sudden expansion， mental will make people lose their mind， physical loss of collarbone， waist， butterfly bone， pointed chin。