我們總是習慣將外貌特徵看得比內在感受更重要，鼻子太大了一點，眼睛的間距有點寬，頭髮有沒有光澤，但重要的並不是看起來的樣子，而是從內而外愛自己。我們不應該急著從外表上對自己和進行稱讚，我們應該對自己的內在，產生興趣，感到歡喜。
如果你對自己的外表感到沮喪，小one想給你一些建議：
1。 臭美是年輕人的遊戲，一旦你超過40歲，到了中年，成熟了，希望的是更加成熟。隨著年齡增長，
你應該在變得更好的事情上努力：良好的人際關係以及技能；
2。 你會習慣一個人的臉。即使一個人長得很奇怪，當習慣了他們的臉，突然他們也會變得更有吸引力；
3。
關注衛生和健康
。如果你總是保養得很好，聞起來很好，看起來乾淨、聰明、整潔，你就會提升自己的吸引點；
4。 沒必要為了追求名人的外表而拼命，只要保持愉快和健康就好了；
5。 認識到“覺得自己很醜”等同於“
覺得自己不值得或不重要
”。就像影片裡說的，醜源於年輕時覺得自己“不值得”。努力在追求自己擅長的事業中找到樂趣，這會幫助你擺脫了毫無價值的感覺。
中英字幕
When we are very concerned about certain of our physical features - a nose that is stubbornly a bit too large， eyes that are slightly too far apart， hair that is not as lustrous as it should be - we miss an overall point about our relationship to our appearance： how beautiful we feel has nothing to do with the objective structure of our face or body； it isn’t what we look like that counts。 It’s how we feel inside。 Our self-assessments are in the end solely based on our relative degrees of self-love and self-contempt。
當我們非常關注我們的某些身體特徵時，比如鼻子太大了一點，眼睛的間距有點寬，頭髮沒什麼光澤，我們就會忽略了關於我們與外表之間的關係的一個整體觀念：我們對自身美的感知，與我們的臉部或身體的客觀結構無關，重要的不是我們看起來的樣子，而是我們內心的感受。我們的自我評估歸根結底只基於我們相對的自愛和自卑程度。
There are people of ideal proportions and exceptional beauty who cannot bear what they see in the mirror and others who can contemplate a less than svelte stomach or a no longer so supple kind of skin with indifference and defiant good humour。 And at a tragic extreme， there are heart-breakingly fine-looking people who starve themselves to ill-health and eventually die out of a certainty， immune to every logical argument， of their own unsightliness。
有些人擁有理想的比例和非凡的美貌，簡直無法承受他們在鏡子裡看到的一切。而另一些人看著自己不夠苗條的腹部，或不再柔軟的面板，仍覺得無可厚非，甚至生出一種挑釁的愉悅。而另一個悲劇性的極端，令人心碎的是有這樣一些外表優秀的人，他們把自己餓到不健康的程度，最終卻仍逃不過一種不受任何邏輯論證的影響，對自身醜陋的堅信。
We are surrounded by industries that seek to help us to improve how we look： dieticians who are on hand to reduce our waistlines， aerobic teachers who offer to tone us， beauticians who will equip us with foundation and mascara。 But however well meaning their efforts， they fail completely to grasp the sources of a healthy regard for one’s own appearance。
我們周圍有很多行業都在致力於幫助我們改善自己的形象：營養師們幫我們減少腰圍，有氧老師幫我們變得更強健，美容師們為我們刷上粉底和睫毛膏，但是，無論他們是出於怎樣的良苦用心，他們完全沒有把握住，一個人能夠尊重自己外表的根源是在哪裡。
The issue is not whether we look extraordinary today， but whether or not we were once upon a time， when we were small and defenceless before the judgements of those who cared for us， sufficiently loved for our essence。 This will decide whether our appearance can later on be a subject of negligible concern to us or not。 The truly blessed among us are not those with perfect symmetry； they are those whose past affords them the luxury not to give too much of a damn whatever the mirror happens to say。
問題不在於我們今天看起來是否出眾，而是在於，是否曾經當我們在那些關心我們的人的評判面前還很渺小、毫無防備的能力的時候，我們原本的樣子得到了充分的愛。這將決定我們的外表以後能否成為對於我們來說可以忽略不計的問題，我們當中真正幸運的不是那些外表完美的人，而是那些他們過去的經歷讓他們有能力面對無論鏡子裡是什麼模樣，都不會太在意的人。
The way to help someone feel beautiful is not to compliment them on their looks， it is to take an interest in and delight in their psychological essence。 We know that the more comfortable we feel around someone， the less effort we will make about how we appear and conversely， the more anxious we are about the judgement of others， the more our reflection has the power to horrify us。 The issue is never that of our appearance， it is about our sense of our vulnerability to humiliation。
幫助一個人感到美麗的方法，不是稱讚他的外貌，而是對他們的內心產生興趣，感到歡喜。我們都知道，我們在某個人身邊感到越舒服，我們就越少為自己的外表努力。反之，我們越是擔心他人的評價，我們的形象就越讓我們產生恐懼，問題從來就不在於我們的外表，而是在於我們覺得自己很容易受到羞辱。
When we meet people who are perpetually sick with worry that they are not attractive enough， we should not rush in with physical compliments； this is only to foster and unwittingly reward an aggravating criterion of judgement。 We should learn to spot the wound in their early relationships that have made it so hard for them to trust that they could matter to others in their basic state and that therefore perpetually evokes in them an unflattering self-image。
當我們遇到那些時刻擔心著自己不夠有吸引力的人，我們不應該急著從外表上對他們進行稱讚，這隻會不知不覺地導致其原有的判斷標準進一步加重。我們應該學會發現他們早期人際關係中的創傷，那些創傷使他們很難相信會有人珍視他們原本的狀態，並因此在他們心中長久地喚起了一個不光彩的自我形象。
They are not ‘ugly’ per se， they were - when it mattered - left painfully unloved and ignored to an extent that they are liable never to have recognised or mourned adequately； their arrival in the world did not delight a few people as it should have done， and they therefore need compassion， sympathy and emotional validation far more than they will ever require the tools of outward beautification。
他們本身並不‘醜陋’，他們只是在一些重要的時候被痛苦地拋棄，被忽視。但在某種程度上他們可能永遠無法認識到這一點，或感到應有的悲哀。他們來到這個世界上並沒有如願以償地讓一部分人為之高興。因此，他們需要的是同理心、同情和情感上的認同，遠遠超過他們對外在美化工具的需求。
Feeling ugly stems from a deficit of love， never of beauty。
覺得自己丑陋的根源在於缺少愛，而非缺少美。
翻譯：AL
稽核：Leon Yong