每次跟別人吵完架，等躺在床上的時候，才知道當時應該怎麼罵。

Every time after quarreling with others and lying in bed， I know how to scold at that time。

你要是說處物件，不好意思沒空，但你要是說乾飯我一定馬上到。

I‘m sorry I’m not free if you say I‘m here， but if you say dry food， I’ll be there right away。

情侶們甜蜜的時候請小聲一點，不知道打擾到我單身了嗎？

When lovers are sweet， please keep your voice down。 Don‘t you know if I’m single？

你男朋友能有什麼壞心思呢？他只是單純地想把你氣死而已……

What‘s wrong with your boyfriend？ He just wants to piss you off……

其實我小時候並不胖，真的，一句“不許剩飯”毀了我的一生。

In fact， I was not fat when I was a child， really， a “no leftovers” ruined my life。

如果十年後你我還未婚配，那我們太慘了，真的太慘了~~

If you and I are still unmarried in ten years， we will be miserable， really miserable~~

這個冬天冷嗎？冷就對了，溫暖是留給開小轎車的人。

Is it cold this winter？ Cold is right。 Warmth is for the people who drive cars。

我有一個小願望，就是夢裡數錢，開心一秒是一秒！

I have a little wish， that is to count money in my dream， happy every second is a second！

你失眠不是很正常嗎？沒錢又沒女朋友，能睡著才怪啊！

Isn’t it normal for you to have insomnia？ No money and no girlfriend， it‘s strange to fall asleep！

明星小孩以後長大的時候會不會攀比呢？會不會問：你被發現的時候上熱搜了嗎？

Will star children keep up with each other when they grow up？ Will you ask： when you were found on the hot search？

朋友問我為什麼不收拾房間，笑話，我可是亂世佳人。

My friend asked me why I didn’t clean up my room。 I‘m a lady in troubled times。

沒文化簡直太可

怕了，想喝西北風都不知道哪個方向是西北~~

It’s terrible to have no culture。 I don‘t know which direction is northwest if I want to drink northwest wind~~